With todays standards of relationships you wonder why people bother to date at all. There are so many experts with so many different opinions on what a healthy relationship looks like and family members who want to insert their “words of wisdom” into the conversation on why they feel your relationship is failing. Everyone is a teacher and there aren’t any students. So where is all of this knowledge coming from? Probably from the person giving the advice comparing your relationship to what happened and/or what is happening in their current/former relationship. But here is the thing; your relationship is not theirs, your partner is not made up the same way as theirs, nor do they understand what your relationship is founded on, because your relationship will never mirror theirs.

No two people are the same. We have different personalities and we react differently to different situations and circumstances. For instance, you have some people who love stressful work environments. They love the stress and they feel like they are at their best when they are challenged. So these type of people may be drawn to a partner that is a little more crazy and OCD about things. On the other hand, you have an individual who can’t handle stressful situations and tend to run or avoid anyone or anyplace that could potentially cause this unwanted stress. Maybe you have never had to face a stressful or challenging situation with your partner and you don’t know how things are going to unfold. The best advice I could give would be to trust in your relationship and your partner. Understand that an initial reaction is not always the final reaction, and to have patience. Sometimes people are scared of uncertainty and/or change. But having patience shows that you are supportive and that you care. However, at the end of the day, disagreeing with your partner does not mean the relationship is doomed. Normally two adults looking at the same picture will express different views; due to their different views of life, life experiences, and upbringing which influences how they react to life, relationships and certain situations. Sometimes a disagreement is a great thing because it gives both parties a chance to state their case. It will give you a chance to learn more about your partner giving the relationship a chance to grow.

So what makes a relationship normal? Who can define what it is to have a “normal relationship?” You can look at your parent’s relationship or you can challenge yourself to create your own definition. Because you saw a parent abused or cheated on, or may be even seen another parent cheat on the other, does not mean that this is “the norm.” You have to decide what standards you want to set for your relationship so that you can be happy. There are going to be many obstacles in your relationship, but as long as you still feel whole and complete, safe and loved than you and your relationship is on the right track. I’m not saying to never listen to your loved ones advice regarding your relationship. I’m just saying don’t have them on speed dial or put them before your partner. It is in my experience that God should play just as an important role in your relationship as you and your partner in order for it to be successful!



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author of "a conversation with a real woman"

5 thoughts on “HAPPILY N’EVER AFTER”

  1. I agree 1000% – I have been single for the last 3 years after 14 years of marriage. And I am just crazy enough to want to do it again. I have learned so much about myself these last few years & hope that I have a lot (more) to offer. I don’t want drama or a lot of baggage but I realize no one is perfect. I do believe there is someone out there for me – hopefully I will meet him sooner than later. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yeah there’s definitely someone out there for you. And now since you have taken the time to get to know yourself you’re in a better position to select a better mate. Love is a beautiful experience you’re not crazy you’re human..God built us this way, he wants us to be in relationships. Good Luck and God Bless..thank you for responding

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for your great post. It was fun reading it. I have read all kinds of books on marriage. Some of them have great information while some were not so useful. I think if a person keeps searching for the truth they will surely find it and enjoy their marriage. There are principles that govern marriage just like any other aspect of life and once we find them, marriage will be awesome and enjoyable.

    Liked by 1 person

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